- me during an exam: lol imma ace dis bitch
- me during an exam: the fuck did you just say
- me during an exam: alright focus
- me during an exam: pffffttt i got this
- me during an exam: I'M A GENIUS
- me during an exam: whats 5 x 8
- me during an exam: lol fuck this
- me during an exam: be our guest be our guest be our guest put our service to the test
- me during an exam: oh exam right
- me during an exam: yeah hear me flip that page
- me during an exam: i am better than all of you
- me during an exam: peasants
- me during an exam: what if everyone can read minds except me
- me during an exam: i bet theyre all thinking to each other 'dont tell her you can read minds'
- me during an exam: cough if you can hear me
- me during an exam: COUGH IF YOU CAN HEAR ME
- me during an exam: was i doing something
- me during an exam: right test okay
- me during an exam: lol i bet i can finish before this bitch
- me during an exam: did we learn this
- me during an exam: stop breathing so loud
- me during an exam: is that really necessary
- me during an exam: wow that post on tumblr last night is suddenly the funniest thing i have ever seen
- me during an exam: i will kill all of you
YOU FUCKING SEE THIS MAP, MOTHERFUCKERS?
YOU GETTING A LONG GOOD SQUINT ON WITH YOUR SIGHT-HOLES?
YOU SEE THAT LONG ORANGE SNAKE WEAVING ITSELF AROUND OUR FAIR COUNTRY?
THAT ORANGE LINE DENOTES THE 100 MILE BORDERS OF THE US, WHICH IS NOW BASICALLY A CONSTITUTION-FREE ZONE
DOES THAT SOUND HYPERBOLIC TO YOU SHITHEADS?
DO YOU THINK I’M GETTING MY MOTHERFUCKING HYPERBOLE ON?
THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY HAS DECLARED THAT ITS AGENTS NOW HAVE THE RIGHTS TO SEARCH THE ELECTRONIC POSSESSIONS OF ANY FUCKING ONE IN THAT ZONE
ANYBODY, FOR ANY REASON, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A BORDER OF THE US, CAN NOW HAVE THEIR FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS VIOLATED
THIS OBVIOUSLY INCLUDES THE ENTIRE EAST AND WEST COASTS, ALSO KNOWN AS, YOU KNOW, THE FUCKING POPULATION CENTERS OF OUR ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY
THIS EQUATES TO NEARLY 200 MILLION FUCKING AMERICANS, OR 2/3RDS OF OUR ENTIRE SHITSTAINING WAFFLEHUMPING JELLOFUCKING FROGTOGGLING MINTSNIFFING HORSEHOCKING COUNTRY
IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, YOU RIGHT NOW DO NOT HAVE FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS ANYMORE
THEY HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY IF YOU LIVE ANYWHERE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A US BORDER
THAT MEANS MOST OF THE POPULATION OF ALL WEST COAST (ESPECIALLY CALIFORNIA) AND EAST COAST STATES, ALL OF FLORIDA AND THE ENTIRE NORTHEAST QUADRANT, AND ALL OF POOR MOTHERFUCKING HAWAII
JUST LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FUCKER, NOW A LITTLE COLLECTION OF ORANGE DOTS FLOATING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN
LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR YOU NOOKWHIFFERS: THE FOURTH AMENDMENT NO LONGER APPLIES TO THE ENTIRE STATE OF HAWAII, AS WELL AS THE ENTIRE STATES OF FLORIDA, MAINE, MASSACHUSETTS, DELAWARE, NEW YORK, AND ALL THOSE OTHER FIDDLY LITTLE TINY FUCKING STATES UP IN THE SNOOTY PART OF AMERICA, YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE A KINDERGARTNER TRIED TO MAKE A JIGSAW PUZZLE OUT OF RABBIT SHIT
INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THE RED MEATY CENTER OF AMERICA IS ENTIRELY PROTECTED BUT I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO GET INTO THAT
POINT IS, THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, WHICH IS NOTORIOUS FOR ITS BLANKET STATEMENTS AND ITS DISREGARD FOR THE PRIVACY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, HAS NOW DECLARED THE RIGHTS OF TWO MOTHERFUCKING THIRDS OF THE GODDAMNED COUNTRY INVALID
AND YES I MOTHERFUCKING STRETCHED YOUR DASH FOR THIS
GUESS WHAT? I’LL STRETCH YOUR FUCKING ASS TOO UNTIL YOU AT LEAST REBLOG THIS, AND LET MORE FUCKING PEOPLE KNOW THAT THEIR RIGHTS ARE FUCKING GONE
MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE, PEOPLE
cuz this shit ain’t right.
EDIT: CLICKTHROUGH THE PIC FOR SOURCE, SHITSTAINS
Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.
some people never develop beyond this stage
why am i CRyIng?